Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
