If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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