btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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