The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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