So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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