i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
