Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize