Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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