Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
