Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Will exercising make me less horny?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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