he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
