Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
