You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
