Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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