She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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