Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
