I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
