So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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