I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
