Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
