So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
