And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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