He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
