Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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