ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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