Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
