bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
