I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
