Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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