i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
