Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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