I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
