she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
