I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
