I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
