Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
