PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
