She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
