Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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