hotel room ftw
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
