no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
