hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
