She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
