should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
