i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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