Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
