a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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