Where did you get a picture of my penis
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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