Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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