Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize