i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
