you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
