that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
