I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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