Already got asked if we're dating
We named our party play list daddy issues
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
