I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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