I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Even my vagina gasped.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
