You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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