White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
