She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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