I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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