Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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