There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
